I didn’t use the word happiness, because it is not real to be happy all the time. We all have our ups and downs in life, it is life after all, nothing here is perfect. The feeling that we should all try to reach is being content and peaceful so we live both sad and happy moments in the best way ever. My first advice to you is to be kind and compassionate to yourself first, accept yourself the way you are, and know that the most thing that matters is what’s happening within you.
That said you need to be careful of the words you tell yourself, the assumptions you make about yourself, and your attitude to every situation that you encounter. In other words, move away from outer physical world and spend more conscious time getting to know what’s going on within. There are some things that keep you from your peacefulness and calmness, try to work on them and see how your life is gonna change.
1 || Comparison
Have you ever liked someone’s personality so much that you wished to be them? you are not alone. We’ve all been there, looking at and wishing to be others ignoring the greatness within us. I have read somewhere that comparison is the thief of joy. And it is totally true, when you constantly compare yourself to others you miss so much, you miss your life. If you’ve been there you know exactly how it feels, it may stop you from doing anything, you just don’t want to do anything because nothing you do seems to be enough. You live on others standards and this is really unfair. Everyone of us have their own gift, you might be good at socializing, someone else got a funny personality and another one is strong physically for example. after all you can’t judge a fish that can’t fly, right?? You don’t have to be good at everything.. And let me tell you something, even the most powerful personalities that you know have their own insecurities so stop being harsh to yourself.
2 || You Live In The Future
Another thing that makes you miss out on your life is thinking so much of the future. How many times you spent nights and nights thinking of that meeting or project you have next month, then things went waaaay simpler and easier than you thought. So many times we make things huge when they are actually small by giving them more space in our thinking. You make your reality, give things their actual size. And live in the moment, what matters is now, the past has gone and the future is not our reality yet, it’s an illusion. So why would you spend time and energy on something that is not real yet, while you can put all this energy in the moment and make the best out of it.
3 || Clutter
I love good interior. And I started to realize the great role it plays in psychology. Whenever I enter any place I can tell right away if it’s psychologically comfortable or not.. Even when it comes to restaurants or cafes you just can’t sit in some places while you feel that you are home and you don’t wanna leave in others. So it’s so important to spend sometime cleaning and decluttering your space, especially that we are spending more time at home now. Your space should make you feel calm to help you relax.
4 || Screentime
Too much screen time has a negative impact on your mental health. So if you are someone who sits spends so much time on their phones make sure to reduce your screen time by setting a reminder on your phone. This can be done gradually, after that you can try to sleep with your phone in another room.
5 || Negative Thoughts
Again, your thoughts create your reality.. We don’t say you can’t feel bad or down sometimes but don’t live in your negative thoughts for long. We all have bad moments that seem to never end, but don’t feed this moments with your negativity. Learn to grief for sometime then start to find solutions for what you can control and let go of the things you can’t control. Everything is gonna be okay at the end. The second any bad thought comes to mind, ask yourself “What is the benefit of this thought?” “Is it gonna serve me in any way?” If your answer is that this thought will only make you feel worse try to stop it and ignore it.
6 || You are Trying To Please Everyone
Always remember that you come first after God then come everyone else from your parents, siblings, spouse and friends. You are not an entertainment tool. Anything you do only to please others loose its meaning. This will make you put so much energy and time in the wrong place which is something that you will regret later. So choose to put your energy in something that you want, something that will improve you and make you happier so you can make others happy as a result. Also, put clear boundaries at your work, and with family and friends. Don’t make pleasing others your ultimate goal and don’t put their feelings before yours.. Others will be pleased when you please yourself first.